


johnny has feelings? psh what no

by whytho



Category: Paranatural (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M, actually tho max totally knows what's up he's a smart cookie, ah well paranatural isn't such a bad way to go out, i guess this is my life now, i really have no excuse this time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 18:31:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5508308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whytho/pseuds/whytho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>when people go on a date, both people should know about it. said dates should not involve being followed around by your friends.</p><p>or: johnny is a loser, max is unaware, and the Jang should get some awards.</p>
            </blockquote>





	johnny has feelings? psh what no

**Author's Note:**

> you know what i do actually ship? day and zarei. they're super cute together. talk about day and zarei. 
> 
> this has about a million mistakes in it, much like my life. please forgive it.

Stephen hoped that he would never again have to crouch behind a column in the cafeteria with two of his friends practically sitting on him. The floor there was covered in dirt and moldy mashed potatoes, and RJ’s weight on Stephen’s back was uncomfortable. But that was the price to pay when you wanted to see one of your best friends ask a nerd out on a date. 

As the J crew stared at Johnny and the new kid, Johnny began to laugh at something he said. Stephen had to admit that Johnny seemed a lot happier now, even if he disliked the whole “could potentially become a romance” aspect of Johnny and Max’s relationship.

As the J Crew watched with bated breath, Johnny rubbed the back of his neck and braved treacherous waters. “So, uh, I was kinda hopin’ you’d like to go out with me this weekend?” 

Max was quiet. Johnny panicked silently. The Friendship Fusibles waited in anticipation. 

Actually, the Friendship Fusibles looked at each other in shock as they tried to process the fact that Johnny actually went through with it, their mouths hanging open, and completely missed what Max said next. 

They were still gaping at each other when Johnny sauntered back, hands in his pockets, and crowed, “Guess who got a date for Saturday!”

Stephen snapped back to attention. While Johnny gushed about his future with the resident dorkatron (who had apparently accepted a date), he spared a look to the other side of the room, where Max was talking to Cody and Lisa. Said resident dorkatron apparently didn’t even care that he had just scored a chance with one of the most attractive rogues on this side of the hill. 

RJ tugged on Johnny’s sleeve. In a low voice, they murmured exactly what Stephen was thinking: “Does he even know it’s a date?”

Ollie gasped. The rest of the J Squad whipped their heads around to look at Max. 

Eyes wide, Ollie said, “He doesn’t seem like he’s happy beyond belief.”

“And his friends aren’t gushing like he’s just won the lottery,” Stephen added, his legs tense, as if he was going to have to sprint away. 

RJ delivered the final blow. “And Suzy isn’t writing up a new article on the current status of you guys.”

Johnny froze, then sat down with a heavy thump. He stared down at the cafeteria table, its slick surface covered in gum, macaroni and cheese, and kids’ tears, and he looked like someone had just stomped on his heart. Or maybe like someone had just kicked a puppy, because Johnny claimed to have gotten rid of his heart years ago. 

“What is your current status?” Ollie asked the ceiling.

As Ollie wondered in the background, Johnny dropped his head onto the table. “I mean,” he said, eyes crossing, “It’s not like I actually said this was gonna be a date. I just sorta- assumed?”

RJ lurked behind him and gave some comforting pats. 

“And now I’ve ruined any possible epics people will write about us because I kinda want to hold his hand and kiss his stupid face.” Stephen snuck a look at the table in the corner, where he was pretty sure the weird ginger anime kid was writing an epic about Johnny and Max holding hands and kissing each other’s stupid faces.

“And he doesn’t even know! I mean, if I wanna hug you, you can at least have the decency to realize it. He’s such a idiot, honestly, what kinda dumb, cute-” Johnny paused, his ears flaring lobster red. 

Ollie jogged in place for a few seconds, then said, “Hey, Johnny? Why don’t you go on this date on Saturday and see how it goes before freaking out?”

“And you can try to woo him,” RJ added, flicking their eyebrows at Stephen a little and smiling. 

Johnny shot up again, smiled, and pulled the the Jets into a huddle. “Okay, boys, we need a game plan.”

Johnny passed the next two days in a blind panic. On Thursday he could be found alternately staring at Max and scribbling down complicated, unreadable plans. He got through Friday on caffeine and nerves. His friends got through Friday on nerves alone. When Saturday arrived, Johnny was in a panic again. He called up Stephen for fashion advice, realized that Stephen once wore nothing but a tunic for three days straight, and then turned to RJ. They wasn’t much help either. 

By the time Ollie finally pulled a decent outfit together, Johnny had tried to style his hair in three different ways and attempted to put eyeliner on his mouth.

RJ sighed. They were in for a long morning. 

When they were done, though, Johnny looked great. “If he doesn’t know this is a date, he will soon,” Stephen said, and pulled another energy drink from Johnny’s hand.

Puffing himself up, Johnny strolled out the door to go pick up Max. He only hit the doorframe twice on his way out, too. 

The J Gang gave him about eight seconds before sneaking after him. 

Johnny met Max at the corner store. The nerd-lord was wearing some sort of t-shirt thing and jeans, and Johnny just about hit the ground and died when he saw him. Stephen considered making Ollie do first-aid on him, but spying on the date and making sure Johnny and Max got together and then stayed together and then got married was more important than any minor injuries. 

By the time Max and Johnny reached the mall, RJ had at least eight different photos for the school newspaper and three for Johnny’s phone background. Stephen was ready to dissolve some more social constructs, and Ollie’s face was apparently frozen in an expression of empathy. 

When they arrived at the mall, even RJ was about done with all the mushy coupley-ness. Johnny had slipped an arm around Max’s tiny shoulders, despite his bright red face, and Max had maintained a running commentary of snark the whole time. They were so sickeningly cute it made the strangers stare. 

The mall itself was a mess. Max apparently wanted to visit every store, so the Boys and RJ had to lurk outside every store, hiding behind potted plants and soccer moms so they wouldn’t get caught. RJ went missing a few times, only to reappear right beside Ollie a second later. 

(Stephen didn’t want to think about running into the weird ginger anime boy. He had a notebook and binoculars; Stephen had some of his decency and pretended he hadn’t seen him.)

Once three o’clock hit, the East Hillers were just about done. RJ’s phone storage was full, Ollie had gotten blisters (but lost his shoes), and Stephen had almost lost all of his decency. 

Johnny was standing in front of Max, looking like he was about sink into the pavement. Eyes on his feet, he mumbled, “It was, ah… it was nice coming out here.” 

Max shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded. Looking up from underneath his lashes, he replied, “It was… fun.”

Johnny’s gaze flicked up to Max and Stephen could tell that he had momentarily lost the ability to punch stuff, just from the expression on the dweebster’s face. 

“Ah, well, I gotta get home now,” Max said, turning around to walk away. A little loopy, Johnny stared after him, before turning to go home himself. Back to his house, where he would update them on how his date went. 

Panicking ever so slightly, Stephen and the other Jets looked at each other. In approximately seven minutes and forty-nine seconds, Johnny would be getting back to his house. And he would expect to find his friends at his house, because they should have been at his house for most of the day. 

Stephen fell into three different puddles while running back.

**Author's Note:**

> okay but max totally knew what was going on the entire time he was looking forward to the date for like three days but had to hide it cause johnny kept staring at him. and he was just like "augghh" and almost died approximately eighteen times. zoey tried to buy a defibrillator for the worst case scenario. 
> 
> quite a few of johnny's gang's names came from [this post](http://bullymagnettrash.tumblr.com/post/135739585289/how-many-weird-names-can-you-think-of-for-johnnys). it was so helpful; thank you.


End file.
